Saturday, February 01, 2025

GRECOPHONES


 

We had just completed an almighty sandcastle with crenelated ramparts with which I intended to demonstrate to my children the Siege of Amorion, when the earth began to shake. Minutes later, the castle was trampled into the sand whence it came as a horde of excited children ran across it, leaving nothing in their wake standing, as they plunged into the sea.

Their grandfather looked at them wistfully, remarking to his wife, ‘“Thalassa or Thalatta?” channelling Rose Macauley’s ‘Towers of Trebizond.’ “The latter,” she responded, as she spread her beach towel on the sand and settled down with a well-thumbed copy of Herodotus’ History, Xenophon presumably, being last season.
In the frenzied melee, our sandbucket, shovels and rakes had gone missing and I scraped the sand desultorily with my toes, seeing whether I could recover any of these implements. «Αλέξ’! Είδις καθόλ’ του μπαγκράτς;» I called out to my son. At that moment, I spied a young girl liberate our rake from the former remains of Amorion. Her father, a formidably large gentleman with piercing blue eyes, sporting a long beard and no moustache, snatched the rake from her hands and strode towards me purposefully, kicking up sand as he approached. «Αυτό δικό σου;» he asked. I responded in the affirmative, assuring him that his daughter was welcome to use it.
«Ευχαριστώ πολύ» he responded slowly and then asked: “Can I ask? I know you are Greek but I’ve never heard anyone speak like that before. Where are you from?” I explained that I was speaking in a regional dialect. He nodded in comprehension, going on to tell me that he before migrating to Australia from Turkey, he would holiday in Greece every year, which is why he had picked up some of the rudiments of the language. An hour or so later, he returned again with the rake, wishing me «Στην υγειά σου». Considering I had just been floored by a wave of unexpected force and swallowed a mouthful of bay water, this pious hope was particularly apt.
A few weeks earlier, I was traversing our local shopping strip with my parish priest. Every so often, he would be greeted by storekeepers and passerby with the greeting: «Καλημέρα πάτερ! Καλή Χρονιά!». While our area has a large Greek population, none of these well-wishers were Greek. Instead, they were Assyrians who, upon fleeing Iraq, lived in Greece for a time before migrating to Australia. They learnt the language and now seek any opportunity to practise their skills. The running joke we have is that the local Assyrian priest is more fluent in Greek than most of our Australian-born priests, even if it is a form of Greek heavily inflected with nineties colloquialisms. In seeking to maintain their connection to Greece, some of these Hellenophones have been drawn to our community in other ways: find their partners from within it and it is still a source of wonder for me when conversing with such partners, to witness them struggle for a Greek word, only to have this readily supplied by their non-Greek partner.
Matthew has been born in Australia of Jordanian parents and has never been to Greece. Yet he speaks to my children in rather coarse Greek for he is apprenticed to some Greek tradesmen and in spending time with them, has picked up more than a smattering ofour ancestral tongue. There is something inordinately endearing about having greet you cheerfully, only to exclaim: «Θέλω έναν καφέ, μωρή!» I have taught him the expression «Με όποιο δάσκαλο κάτσεις, τέτοια γράμματα θα μάθεις», but he hasn’t yet able to appreciate the reason as to why I find this amusing.
Interestingly enough, his cousins have sought fit to name their son Leandros. They know nothing of the mythological hero of this name, of his nightly swims across the Hellespont to be with his beloved Hero, nor indeed, of his untimely demise halfway through his swim, when a strong winter wind blows out Hero's light, causing him to lose his way and drown. Instead, they were strongly possessed by the desire to give their firstborn a Greek name. I express the desire that he grow to become a stronger swimmer than his namesake and caution against naming their second child Meandros, lest his meandering attitudes cause him to seek a career as a lawyer, but they smile nervously, and merciful fail to grasp the point of the jest.
Over the years, I have encountered a number of people who have limited or no connection to Greece and yet have mastered the language. Some of these people came to the language through a love of Greek music or trips to Greece and a desire to remain in contact with the people whose culture they are so enamoured of. One of my friends, of Jewish heritage, mastered Greek on his own in order to circumvent the objections of his prospective mother in law, to his union with her daughter. Ultimately, the object of his affection chose a different life partner, but he maintains his enviable fluency in Modern Greek, peppered as it is by the most fascinating expletives, all of his own invention, by which he demonstrates the immense malleability of our language.
Others come to Greek though the kindness or companionship of Greek neighbours and friends who include them from a young age in their social circle. From the elderly Australian woman I once encountered in South Melbourne who told me in Greek that she attended Saturday Greek school as a child in order to spend more time with her friends,  to Meron, a multi-lingual Ethiopian prodigy I had the honour of teaching years ago, who at the age of eleven, decided that Greek was an important community language that she would like to learn, to Shahnaz, whose parents’ nostalgic accounts of a pre-Iranian Revolution trip to Greece caused her not only to seek the company of Greeks upon her arrival in Australia but also to learn their language and, amazingly to teach it to her children, to Khalil, a Syrian Orthodox refugee who prefers to attend the Greek church and has taught himself Greek because he believes that the Greeks of Antioch form part of his national identity, to Bledi, an Albanian who has migrated to Australia and religiously attends Greek festivals and social events, there is out there a significant corpus of non-Greek, Greek speakers who exist integrated within or upon the margins of our community.
One could pose the obvious question, a timely one given the current Greek school enrolment season: If they can do it, why can’t we? But to do so is misconceived. As far back as Isocrates, it has commonly been acknowledged that there is no “us” nor “them,” when people speak your language. The very fact that a shared language exists between people creates an unparalleled intimacy which can also lead to unparalleled hurt, something that Bulgarian nationalist Grigor Parlichev who won awards for his Greek poetry understood, until his efforts were derided by Greek bigots, and indeed Albanian national poet Naim Frashëri, whose Greek works of literature are astoundingly beautiful. For along with those who embrace Greek as a matter of choice, other communities of Greek speakers exist alongside us, their origins stemming from liminal spaces within Hellenism, where identities, ethnic and cultural are fluid or contested: Grecophones of Macedonia who espouse a Slavic identity, and Greek-speaking Turkish Cypriots to name the most prominent examples.
A more apt question therefore is what we do with this seldom-recognised and unutilised linguistic capital. It remains unrecorded within Census statistics which do not acknowledge multilingualism as a phenomenon in Australia, compelling us all to declare only one language other than English spoken at home, when many of our citizens have many. We most often ignore or fail to connect with communities of Greek speakers, even when the majority of these consider Greek to be a language of prestige and we seem unable to mobilise or to utilise their goodwill in ways that would benefit and be appropriate not only for ourselves but for the broader fabric of multicultural society.
When our culture is embraced by others, partaken of, interrogated, examined and deconstructed, it emerges stronger and more viable as a result, something which a whole period of our history, the Hellenistic, attests to. Two thousand years ago, Gallo-Roman Hellenist Favorinus noted that he espoused “not only the voice but also the mind-set, life and style of the Greeks.” Consequently he maintained that he had developed an outstanding quality, that of “both resembling a Greek and being one.” In multilingual and multicultural Melbourne, we would do well to remember that we are not the only ones who can claim this privilege, albeit for now.
DEAN KALIMNIOU
kalymnios@hotmail.com
First published in NKEE on Saturday 1 February 2025

Saturday, January 25, 2025

IN SEARCH OF A SUITABLE DATE

 


Just before Christmas, the Iraqi president visited a Christian church in that country and as well as announcing that henceforth Christmas Day would be a public holiday, he paid homage to the Assyrians as the indigenous peoples of Iraq.

“How do you feel about that?” I asked my wife. The response was swift and devastating. “After a millenium of persecution and genocide, what are we supposed to do with such an empty gesture? Trust me, more than anyone, we know how the Indigenous Australians feel about Australia Day.”

Iraq of course, is not Australia. Australia has striven in various ways of late to recognise the hardship caused to Indigenous Australians by Anglo-Celtic settlement. Iraq celebrates as a national holiday, Republic Day, being the day that the Hashemite ruling dynasty was murdered in 1958, as well as National Day, being the day that Iraq gained independence from the British in 1932. These are, unless you happen to be a monarchist, politically neutral days which had a profound effect upon the shaping of modern Iraq and which can be celebrated by citizens of all religions and ethnicities.

Australia Day, is however, the only Australian national day and it is neither politically neutral, nor has the event it commemorates had a profound effect upon the formation of modern Australia. Instead, it is celebrated on 26 January in order to commemorate the arrival of the First Fleet in this country in 1788. That event did not lead to the foundation of a country called Australia. What it did do, was to lead to the foundation of New South Wales as a British colony, which is why as early as 1818, the date was celebrated in that colony as “Foundation Day.” As far as the rest of us go, and by us I mean Australian citizens of British descent whose ancestors were not transported to or settled in the British colony of New South Wales, the event is not nation forming in any way whatsoever.

It is the widespread concern that commemorating Australia Day on 26 January triumphalises the appropriation of this land from its original owners and the consternation they have expressed at celebrating a day that for them marks in invasion of their country and their dispossession that has focused public debate as to the suitability of the said date. Most importantly, it should not escape our attention that as far back as 1936, the same date was declared a Day of Mourning by the Aborigines Progressive Association and the Australian Aborigines League as a protest against the “Whiteman's seizure of our country.” Yet even if it were not for this unfortunate chapter in Australia’s history which needs to be acknowledged in full, using the anniversary of the foundation of a British colony as a day to unite all Australians would still raise questions as to its appropriateness, suitability and relevance of that date to arguably the majority of modern Australians.

Australia as a modern nation came into being on 1 January 1901, with the federation of the British colonies on the continent and commentators within our community have suggested that marking this date with a holiday would be eminently more suitable. Yet there are both practical and political considerations that mitigate against the adoption of this as a more suitable or inclusive date. Firstly, we already observe a perfectly decent holiday on that date, New Year’s Day. Secondly, and most importantly, while Federation is undoubtedly a significant event, it is arguable that there existed no Australians in its aftermath. Prior to 1949, Australia held Dominion Status within the British Empire and its inhabitants were considered to be British subjects. It was only with the passage of the 1948 Australian Nationality and Citizenship Act that an official Australian citizenship was created and it could be argued that this day one in which an emerging sense of nationhood was formally recognised, is worth commemorating as a day that unites all Australians.

Inconveiently, the Act came into effect on 26 January 1949, so we are no better off than where we started. Further, while Australian citizens were created at that time, the fact remained that the privilege of becoming one was not open to all people. Just a few years earlier, in 1941, Australian Prime Minister John Curtin articulated a restrictive vision for Australia that if in effect today, would have excluded a large portion of the Australian community: “This country shall remain forever the home of the descendants of those people who came here in peace in order to establish in the South Seas an outpost of the British race. Our laws have proclaimed the standard of a White Australia.” The celebration of this type of citizenship, informed as it was by the White Australia Policy, at this time, would be problematic to say the least.

Curtin, however, was prescient enough to know that as a country evolves, so to does its conception of citizenship. In the same speech, he proceeded to acknowledge that the Australian understanding of belonging is not set in stone: “If we were to depart from it [the White Australia Policy] we should do so only as a result of free consent.” The process however, took a long time. In 1949, shortly after the Nationality and Citizenship Act came into effect, the War-time Refugees Removal Act 1949 was passed. Ostensibly enacted in order to empower the minister of Immigration: “to force any person to depart the country who had been allowed to enter as a result of the war and had not since left,” its real aim was to give the federal government the explicit authority to deport non-white foreigners who had arrived in Australia during the Second World War.

Mass-migration and Australia’s post-War development slowly eroded the official conception of Australia as a bastion of whiteness. In 1950, the External Affairs Minister Percy Spender instigated the Colombo Plan, whereby students from Asian countries were permitted entry into the country to study at Australian universities and in 1957, non-Europeans who had fifteen year’s residence in Australia became eligible for citizenship. In discussing the newly passed Migration Act in 1958, Immigration Minister Alick Downer announced that “distinguished and highly qualified Asians' might immigrate” and in March 1966, Prime Minister Harold Holt stated in the press that Australia no longer had a White Australia policy, but instead had a “restricted immigration policy.” Indeed, on 24 March 1966, during the House of Representatives debate on the passage of the Migration Act, government MP Sir Keith Cameron Wilson stated: “From now on there will not be in any of our laws or in any of our regulations anything that discriminates against migrants on the grounds of colour or race.”

For the first time ever, Australian government policy was formally articulated in such a way so as allow the possibility of any and all people, of whichever ethnic background or nationality, the possibility of becoming an Australian. Is not this date, without which the Whitlam Government’s formal abolition of the White Australia Policy in 1973, its passage of the Racial Discrimination Act in 1975 and Fraser Government’s passage of the Migration Act on 1978 in which the selection of migrants based on country of origin was completely removed from official policy may have been possible, a date which forms the true foundation of the modern Australian identity as encompassing any and all creeds, colours, ethnicities and language groups worth celebrating as a national day of inclusivity which unites all Australians and not just the particular strain of European who happened to establish themselves here first?

The 26th of January is a significant day in the Australian calendar and it should remain such as a national day of remembrance and reflection. If we are truly however, looking for a date that all Australians can celebrate, one could do worse than look beyond 24 March, a particularly convenient date, if you happen to be a Greek-Australian.

DEAN KALIMNIOU

kalymnios@hotmail.com

First published in NKEE on Saturday 25 January 2025

Saturday, January 18, 2025

THE EDIFICATION OF CHILDREN



When I was young, some of the readings that we were periodically assigned at Greek School, were penned by a mysterious figure who would always begin with the endearment «Αγαπητοί μου» and end with the valediction: “I kiss you, Phaedon.”

In between the greetings, Phaedon would, in letter form, develop fascinating and deeply enthralling narratives about issues from the most complex to the most trivial, in a tone so fresh and familiar, as to make you believe that he had known you all his life. The subject matter had such immediacy and relevance that when I was told that the author, Grigoris Xenopoulos was born one hundred and ten years before I and died a year after my father was born, and that the letters were published in a periodical for children entitled “The Edification of Children” (Η Διάπλασις των Παίδων), between 1896 to 1948, I simply could not believe it.
Over the Christmas holidays, I managed to track down a compendium of some of the author’s favourite letters, published by him after the periodical ceased its circulation. Opening its yellowed pages I was immediately transported back to my childhood, guided by the same timeless, friendly voice. What immediately became apparent was how the author a noted novelist, playwright and literary critic presupposed neither knowledge, nor class status among his readers. He wrote without condescension, eschewing a preachy or didactic tone and instead speaking directly to his young readers and taking them from the outset into his confidence. Writing originally in the early editions in an accessible form of katharevousa, this champion of Demotic Greek switched to the common tongue as early as the first decade of the twentieth century, ensuring that his young readers would understand him and appreciate his message as effortlessly as possible.
I marvel at how Phaedon was able to embrace overarching themes by providing his readers with specific examples from their daily lives. In one of his early letters, he treats with the concept of modernisation by writing about the replacement of the steam train from Athens to Piraeus with an electric model. Outlining the benefits in terms of speed, ease of use and efficiency, he assures his readers that progress is inevitable and it is inexorable. However, he is also sensitive to the romantic hold that the old has over the new. Much of his missive is devoted to the nostalgia that impedes progress. Rather than deriding it however, he encourages his readers to understand, reflect upon and cherish the past, all the while understanding the importance of change.
Through such reflections, we watch Athens, where the author resided, transform from a small provincial town, into a bustling metropolis. We join with him in marvelling as he hears the sound of the first aeroplane fly over the capital and laugh with him as he recounts how the pilot’s mother exclaimed when asked her thoughts about her son’s exploits: “I have given birth to an eagle instead of a son.” Similarly, we sympathise with him as he laments the broadening of Vasilissis Amalias Avenue, which while necessary, for crossing it in the nineteen twenties was to put your life at risk, involved the cutting down of a number of beautiful trees that used to line it. He waxes enthusiastically about the introduction of cars to Athens, all the while predicting the inevitable traffic jams that would, years after his death, come to paralyse the city. In like fashion, he predicts the expansion of Athens beyond the city centre to its present extent and its merging with Piraeus, even as he sadly describes the orgy of construction and development that has criminally blocked his view of the Acropolis. Most tellingly, he enthusiastically describes the trend of young Athenians sporting tsarouhia as a form of jewellery in celebration of the Greek army’s early success in the Italians in 1940 and confides, in 1942, how he has come to appreciate the humble walnut, since bread is not available.
On occasion, Phaedon becomes not only the child’s confidant, but also a trust friend who can console them in their pain. One of the letters is inspired by a communication from a reader who lives abroad and describes to the author how empty and lonely her first Easter is, away from her country. Rather than indulge in platitudes or empty phrases, Phaedon feels her pain keenly, confiding in her and the rest of the community of readers how lonely he felt when he left his home and family in Zakynthos in order to study in Athens. He describes the sense of excitement he could feel from those around him during holidays and Feast Days and how bereft of meaning these days had for him, in his solitude and misery. From that point, he proceeds to assure his overseas interlocutor that things will get better, that one always finds meaning in the environment in which they live, that pain can be compartmentalised and contextualised, describing how his mother back in Zakynthos would deal with her son’s absence by imagining he was sleeping in the next room.
Perhaps the most heart-rending of Phaedon’s letters concerns the death of his nonagenarian mother. He does not try to hide his grief, but rather describes the ways in which she played an intrinsic role in the formation of his character. In particular, he focuses on two aspects of her character which he highlights as important: her egalitarian nature, for according to him, she was able to relate to and form lasting relationships with members of Zakynthos’ genteel society as well as the impoverished and the vulnerable on equal terms, and her education, for she was a voracious and sensitive reader and this, in her son’s opinion shaped her manners and her generous world-view and sense of mission. In doing so, he invites his readers to consider the contribution of their parents to their own lives while gently reminding them that they won’t have them forever. It is a humble, unassuming but utterly profound letter that avoids hysteria and melodrama and yet does not fail to move the reader, as is his penultimate piece, which describes how he his house, library and archive has been destroyed during the Dekemvriana, the first act of the Greek Civil War.
The letters that try to place Greek historical events in context are absorbing. In a precursor to the Kennedy moment, Phaedon describes the jubilation of the Athenians upon hearing the news of the liberation of Ioannina in 1913, foreseeing that in years to come, everyone will remember exactly where they were when they first heard the news. Sometimes, he gets it wrong. His 1919 letter on the “Megali Idea,” presents the expansion of Greece’s borders to encompass historic motherlands as inevitable and a historical right, unable to foresee how this would end in catastrophe only a few years later.
By far however, his most endearing epistles are those which deal with childhood and the process of growing up. Whether it is describing his childhood in Zakynthos and sitting on a raisin-heap in the evening in order to view the Summer night sky, or describing his youthful addiction to adventure novels only to exhort his readers to transcend the need for cheap thrills and to embrace the reading of proper literature, as difficult as this may seem, discussing maturity or the absence thereof in children with the reassurance that while some children may seem to be more mature than others, they are still children and the idea of childhood must be cherished, or in a treatise about marks and school reports, attempting to convince children that hard work and doing one’s best are their own reward, an endeavour that should unite all children of all colours and creeds throughout the world, or indeed, encouraging children to write poetry that comes from their heart and reflects their true emotions and experiences rather than those they think adults would approve of, Phaedon ever remains a non-judgmental, intimate confidant and guide for all ages.
I am not sure whether another Phaedon has ever existed within the Greek zeitgeist. We have certainly never had one here in Australia and that is a great pity. I look back at the organised community of my childhood and marvel not just at how few events were targeted towards children or designed to include children but also at how even today, the tendency to treat children as gargoyles at pointless wreath laying ceremonies inculcated in them the conviction that to be Greek is to suffer insipid boredom, rather than be inspired by the vibrancy of our culture. I wish that we had a Phaedon to feel as we have felt, to inspire us with his immense love of children and to create within us a sense of community and responsibility while at the same time, introducing us to the mysteries of Hellenism. But then again, given how timeless, how transcendent he is, maybe just one is all we need, provided we have the language skills to read him, for he remains criminally untranslated.
Sometimes, when I receive letters from readers telling me how they have grown up reading the Diatribe, for I am that old, I wonder how Phaedon would have felt, receiving letters from Greek children all around the world and I imagine him writing back to all of us that we are all one large family, united within the broad, however dysfunctional embrace of Hellenism and that embrace, just like the writings of the great man himself, endures the ravages of time and is as omnipresent as we would require it to be. And he would sign off, as ever with a kiss.
DEAN KALIMNIOU
kalymnios@hotmail.com
First published in NKEE on Saturday 18 January 2025

Saturday, January 11, 2025

PISOPOGON


 

It was the anniversary of the crowning of Admiral Romanos I Lekapenos as co-emperor of the underage Constantine VII. I was recalling a lecturer at university pronouncing Lekapenos as Lekapenus, with the emphasis on the penultimate syllable, causing my classmates to giggle in a most refined fashion. The reason why still remains a mystery to me. Of similar mystification is why, when I pointed out that this son of the remarkably named Theophylact the Unbearable (ὁ ἀβάστακτος), as far as emperors went, sucked, the whole class erupted in laughter. I was musing on this, when the phone rang.

On the other end of the ether was a friend who is into mindfulness and self care.
He believes that his particular (curated, as he calls it) philosophy which combines what he terms Ancient Greek philotimo with veganism and yoga provides a plausible alternative way of life that is eminently marketable to the Greeks of the motherland and is projected to make him and his prospective investors a good deal of money.
“How are you?” I enquire, disinterestedly as, for wont of anything better to do I am trying to read Ioannis Vilaras’ demotic translation’s of the Batrachomyomachia, an ancient parody of the Iliad.
“I don’t know,” came the response. “I’m kind of sore all over. My skin is covered in these red welts.”
“Sounds fishy,” I commented.
“No, I’m on this guava only toxin cleanse. I must be allergic or something.. Nothing to do with fish.”
It actually does. The word sardine derives from the ancient Greek word σαρδῖον, the word for carnelian, denoting 'red,'  as according to our venerable ancestors, the flesh of some sardines is a reddish-brown colour similar to some varieties of red sardonyx or sardine stone.
“I’m burning all over. It’s like someone is roasting me with a blow-torch,” he complained.
In order to divert him, I saw fit to refer to mention Palladius’ narrative in the Lausiac History, where he refers to one Heron,  a young monk of Scetis who, ‘being on fire’, left his cell in the desert and went to Alexandria where he visited a prostitute. According to the historian:  “An anthrax grew on one of his testicles, and he was so ill for six months that gangrene set into his private parts which finally fell off.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better? By the way, I’ve found a solution to your problem.”
“Which one?”
“You know how you keep complaining that you can’t grow a beard? I’ve found this aryuvedic remedy involving fermented Banyan seeds…”
It is true that I cannot grow a beard. It is also true that I have lamented this fact, for not being able to grow a beard automatically disqualifies one from being a candidate for the Byzantine throne. This is a complex that as engendered in me by a particularly malevolent and most likely heretical Greek-school teacher in my teens, who, noticing my lack of facial growth compared to my fellow adolescents, granted me the soubriquet: Constantine Pogonatus, the nickname ascribed to Emperor Constantine the bearded, presumably to highlight my lack thereof.
He was also responsible for informing me that while the word adolescent is said to derive from the Latin: ad- ‘to’ + alescere ‘grow, grow up, there is the homophonous ancient Greek word ἀδολεσχία, (adolescia) which refers to talking nonsense non-stop for an inordinate period of time, considered a sign of immaturity most likely to be found in adolescents by the ancients.
It is a recognised phsyco-linguistic phenomenon prevalent among Greek-Australian associations and clubs, whose Peter Pan-like presidents, refuse to grow up and who generally, do not sport beards, at least since the downfall of PASOK.
In the Homeric epics, having a beard had almost sanctified significance, with a common form of entreaty being to touch the beard of the person you addressed. I have largely become resigned to my beardless fate, regardless of the opprobrium that this causes me. I once managed to grow a goatee after six months of trying, but my wife compelled me to shave it off, claiming that rather than looking imperial, I resembled instead, a benevolent Trotsky, a prospect that she would not countenance though I suspect that her ulterior motive was, once learning that the Spartans curled their beards with heated iron rods, that I did not compete with her for the curling tongs. Thus, I remain beardless, content that what I lack in facial hair, I make up in the knowledge that Orthodox paraliturgies have been composed to describe those such as I.
Enter the Liturgy of a Beardless Man, a twelfth century scatological parody of the Orthodox liturgy. In commenting about it, scholar Barry Baldwin opines: “Alas, I like a good piece of humour as much as the next, but the limited and endlessly repetitive invective of the work makes it the sort of thing that gives pornography a bad name,” a criticism that has been levelled against the Diatribe, from time to time. Just how the scatological becomes tiresome can be evidenced below, in the section that purports to parody the hymn: “O the paradoxical miracle.”
“Verse: From the depths hast thou cried out, that thou mayst be granted a beard; and thy prayer was granted not.
O strange marvel, if you should meet a beardless man, fart on his moustache, pluck his beard, and favour him with a kick, that sconehead and skinhead. And say thus to him, most evil: O thou wood-throat and savage-moustache, evil beardless man, be gone, be crushed, most evil beast.”
Nay, like Alexander the Great who ordered his men to shave off their beards, I revel in my lack of ground cover, and if I could, I would pen, as Emperor Julian the Apostate, a missive such as his Misopogon, ( the Beard-Hater, where, under the guise of mocking both himself and the philosopher's beard he sported in an era of clean-shaven manly men, he unleashed his deep resentment and frustration toward the people of Antioch. No one hailing from that city offends me, so I will unleash upon those of Melbourne instead, having tired of social media, ever mindful of the fact that the Emperor Domitian had the hair and beard forcibly shaven from the philosopher Apollonius of Tyana as a means of punishment for anti-State activities. Byzantine Emperor Theophilus on the other hand, prefers more invasive means that penetrated further than skin-deep: he branded iconoclastic verses on the foreheads of the iconodule monks Theodore and Theophanes who were henceforth known as γραπτοί. The verses were deliberately metrically irregular, to heighten the shame. Notably, however, they were not shorn, for to do so, in the Greek vernacular, signifies laicisation and expulsion from the Inner Party.
Theodore Prodromos, in his twelfth century satire: “Against on Old Man and his Beard,” warned against beards conferring authority upon those who would dominate us: “He said this, and we admired him, praised him and called him fortunate indeed, and we were all ears when he taught, because the man is a terrific speaker, and we trusted in his appearance. For his beard fell down to his knees and his neck was bent, his eyebrows were drawn together, and ochre was all over his face and, generally speaking, his look indicated that he was a philosopher even to those who did not know him. But yesterday, my dear, unveiled the drama and took away the skene and revealed the truth.”
“Well, the aryuvedic remedy is not what I’m calling you about,” my friend intruded upon my contemplation. “I’m setting up my website, in English and in Greek.  How do you say self-love in Greek? Is it αυτοαγάπη?”
”It’s αυνανισμός,” came my response.

Saturday, January 04, 2025

BEFORE MIDNIGHT

 


Every New Year’s Eve, wherever I may find myself, as I watch the passage of the dial across the clock until midnight, I hear the words of Cavafy’s poem “Since Nine” resonate with each tick:

“Half past twelve. The time has quickly passed

since nine o’clock when I first turned up the lamp

and sat down here. I’ve been sitting without reading,

without speaking. With whom should I speak,

so utterly alone within this house?

The apparition of my youthful body,

since nine o’clock when I first turned up the lamp,

has come and found me and reminded me

of shuttered perfumed rooms

and of pleasure spent—what wanton pleasure!

And it also brought before my eyes

streets made unrecognizable by time,

bustling city centres that are no more

and theatres and cafés that existed long ago.

The apparition of my youthful body

came and also brought me cause for pain:

deaths in the family; separations;

the feelings of my loved ones, the feelings of

those long dead which I so little valued.

Half past twelve. How the time has passed.

Half past twelve. How the years have passed.”

 

Twelve o’clock is the terminal point. This is where time runs out and it is not at all certain whether it begins anew and for whom. Cavafy begins to ponder the end at nine, that is in the twilight of his life. He is, in contrast to many of us who seek during festive occasions to be with friends or family, abjuring and inordinately fearful of solitude, absolutely alone. In the desolation of his empty house, all that remains for him to do, is to delineate a topography of loss.

Despite what he may think, Cavafy is not alone in this pursuit. I too, cast my mind back to New Year’s Eve’s of old. I remember parties and dances in clubhouses that have been sold long ago, their revellers, with their mutton chop sideburns and their inordinately wide-ties having been laid to rest decades ago. I remember my grandparents and their siblings bemusedly watch my uncles, so young then, attempting to the cheat them at cards, while trying to stifle a smile and recalling New Year’s Eves in other places, in other times, impossibly ancient and hard to fathom when one is only in the first decade of one’s life. Mostly however, I remember my great-grandmother, in the midst of an adoring crowd of descendants, celebrated, revered but utterly alone, remembering like Cavafy, loved ones long dead that had left her behind as the only person who remembered them, streets that no longer existed, neighbourhoods and customs that had passed out of sight and out of mind.

 

In Cavafy’s experience, reminiscing is a harbinger of pain and an evocator of a sense of ennui, with the poet regretting the fact that he did not value his loved ones while he was with them, nor have sufficient regard for their feelings. These holidays, many of us will feel the same sense of pain as we remove loved ones from their accommodation in aged care in order for them to share the joy of the season with us. In a large number of cases, those afflicted with dementia will be physically present, just as Cavafy’s memories are visceral and sensory: he evokes the smell of perfumed rooms, the sound of the bustle of busy cities, the touch that beings wanton pleasure. However, unlike Cavafy, they will not be in a position to remember, to analyse those memories and to feel pleasure or regret, just as they will not be able to absorb or in any way relate to the celebrations they have been brought to partake in. For them, midnight has come and gone. Unable to be haunted by an apparition of their younger, more sensual selves, unable to distinguish between evolving streetscapes of yore and their present condition, they are transcend Cavafy’s conundrum: For them, Time no longer has any meaning whatsoever and instead, it is we, their loved ones who are implicated in Cavafy’s reverie: lamenting the decay of their corporeal form, feeling guilty about having disappointed them, disregarding their feelings and inevitably, in our most guilt-laden moments, furtively watching the clock.

 

The genius of Cavafy’s understanding of time however, is that it can ever be manipulated. While we meet him just before the end, the time is now half past doomsday and yet he is still with us, albeit in a diminished and melancholy form. Is guilt therefore a form of purgatory for those who cease to “live” a vibrant life, however this may be defined? What happens after midnight.

Many things it turns out, not all of them unpleasant. In the poem “Comes To Rest,” the memory of a torrid erotic encounter is placed a little after midnight:

 

“It must have been one o'clock at night

or half past one.

A corner in a taverna,

behind the wooden partition:

except for the two of us the place completely empty.

A lamp barely gave it light.

The waiter was sleeping by the door.

No one could see us.

But anyway, we were already so worked up

we'd become incapable of caution.

Our clothes half opened - we weren't wearing much:

it was a beautiful hot July.

Delight of flesh between

half-opened clothes;

quick baring of flesh - a vision

that has crossed twenty-six years

and now comes to rest in this poetry.”

 

As is the case with “Before Nine,” the memories unfold within a closed space: an empty home in the case of the first poem, an empty corner of a taverna behind a partition in the second. Midnight has been and gone and yet both sets of memories, set at approximately the same time  emphasise a physical and emotional barrier between the poet, his memories and the outside world that acts as a vessel to preserve those memories against time even while tacitly acknowledging that such an endeavour is ultimately futile and full of grief.

 

Those endeavours extend way past midnight into the afternoon. In “The Afternoon Sun,” in which via a description of urban renewal Cavafy describes with photographic accuracy a room used to make love which no longer exits, the seminal moment upon which his memory turns and is projected into eternity is precisely pinpointed as four o’clock in the afternoon:

 

“One afternoon at four o’clock we separated

for a week only. . . And then—

that week became forever.”

 

There is movement in the kitchen now. Dishes of food are being brought out, bottles of unspeakable vile Verve Clicquot champaign emerge from the refrigerator. Someone turns up the television and as I see the jubilant countenances of revellers in cities just as bustling as the poet’s Alexandria of old, all of them young and none of them of the age of his seedy conurbation, I muse that the  intrinsic connectedness of temporal and spatial relationships that are artistically expressed in Cavafy’s poetry, are Kantian in the way that they form transcendental pre-conditions of experience, but rather than being theoretical, they assume a concrete form.

 

There is a countdown now. Soon after the fireworks begin. From our location, the Melburnian fireworks are clearly visible, spreading their outrage of light across the dark night sky. The neighbours have all come out onto the street, their mouths open in wonder. As one fireburst follows the other in nauseating succession, a young child exclaims: “I wish this night could last forever.”

 

It is then that I am reminded that the ultimate brilliance of Cavafy, is not that he can, as an Egyptian, mummify and preserve time, nor that he can conflate it or transcend it, but, as in his poem “Before Time Altered Them,” make is stand completely still.

 

“Or maybe Fate

appeared as an artist and decided to part them now,

before their feeling died out completely, before Time altered

them

the one seeming to remain for the other always what he was,

the good-looking young man of twenty-four.”

 

DEAN KALIMNIOU

kalymnios@hotmail.com

First published in NKEE on Saturday 4 January 2025

Saturday, December 21, 2024

CHANGING THE DATE



“What are you doing Christmas Eve?” Niko enquired. “Going to Midnight Mass?”

«Άκου εκεί Midnight Mass,” Stefo sniggered. “Like the good little Orthodox boy he is, he is going to go to the εσπερινό. You’ve been with the Catholics too long re. When are you going to come back to embrace the Dark Side of the Force?”

Niko was not only the first among our circle of friends to get married, he was also the first to marry out of the clan, having married a wonderful life-partner whose ancestors arrived here from Southern Italy. In the beginning, his mother was in tears and refused to accept her as the object of his adoration. Being enlisted to explain that all Southern Italians are Greek anyway, his mother brushed aside my arguments, repeating the mantra, «Παπούτσι από τον τόπο σου κι ας είναι μπαλωμένο». This mantra soon changed to «δεν πειράζει, ναναι χέπυ τα παιδιά, ούνα ράτσα, ούνα φάτσα upon her learning that her sympethero was a quite well-off μπίλντας with an extensive portfolio of investment properties in Donnybrook and though we kept from her the fact that he had six other children, all of whom would presumably share in the inheritance until the day of the wedding, she managed to remain calm, smiling under the net of her fascinator, marvelling only that according to her, Italians seem to be obsessed with food and lack an understanding of the concept of kefi, which funnily enough is an observation my Assyrian relatives also make about the Greeks they come in contact with, I being possessed of not even one discernible even by X-Ray, party bone in my entire carcass.

By all accounts, Niko’s is a harmonious marriage.  Both his children were christened and confirmed in the Catholic Church, and attend Greek school after hours. Theirs is a serene existence of endless barbeques, birthdays and family dinners, punctuated by trips to Amalfi and Mykonos and they are splendidly content. It is only once a year that the internal equilibrium of the familial unit is sorely disrupted and that time is Christmas.

“Re, I wish we were παλαιοημερολογήτες,” Niko sighed as he nursed his beer, a robust Mountain Culture Moon Dust Stout.

“Vre αθεόφοβε, don’t talk about meat and paleo diets in front of Kalimniou,” Stefo chided him “He is supposed to be fasting.”

“Old Calendar, like the Russians,” Niko insisted. “I wish we were like them.”

Wishing that one resembles the Russians in any way is definitely not in season and I took great pains to point this out. I urged him to wait a while, for fashion has a funny habit of turning in on itself and returning like an ouroboros, or flared pants.

“I mean I wish we could celebrate Christmas on 7 January like all the other Orthodox. So much easier for all involved. No hassles, no dramas,” Niko continued wistfully.

“Yeah but if we did that, we would miss out on the Fota and going down to the holiday house in Rye,” Stefo spluttered incredulously. “So what would be the point of that?”

Nikos’ father in law’s holiday house is in Rosebud and on Christmas Day it is incumbent upon all his offspring, their significant others and progeny to make pilgrimage thereto and celebrate the Birth of Our Saviour, by means of an almighty feast ordered months in advance from the Chrisco catalogue, thereby creating a vast dilemma.

“My wife is accommodating on so many things,” Niko explained. “Greek school, giortes, as long as I drive the kids, no problems. But try to tell her that we need to go to my mum’s for Christmas and she won’t budge. Absolutely no way. I plead, I argue, nothing. Vre, I tell her, your mother has four sons, my mother has only got one son, it’s not fair, why should my parents have Christmas alone, the woman is supposed to go to the husband’s family, τίποτα. All I get are three stock responses: “We have Greek Easter with your parents. There is no such thing as Greek Christmas,” “We can see them on Boxing Day,” and “Your sister goes to your parents instead of her in-laws so why is there one rule for her and one for me?” And how many years of this now, my mum still won’t accept it. You know the deal: «Πρέπει να πατήσεις πόδι,» «αν ήσουν άντρας θα την έβαζες στη θέση της,» «φταίω εγώ για τις θυσίες που έκανα για σένακάτι σκηνές, κάτι κλάματα, and then she won’t talk to me until after πρωτοχρονιά, when I go to mow the lawns.”

«Πρέπει να πατήσεις πόδιcomes from the Greek marriage ceremony where the man is supposed to step on his wife’s foot,” Stefo mused. “But you wouldn’t know because you went full-metal Catholic. Kalimniou tried to step on his wife’s foot during the service, but he tripped and ended up stepping on himself instead.”

Stefo is currently possibly in his third-marriage, this being both because he is unsure whether the ceremony with the barmaid in the Turks and Caicos Islands is legally binding and also because her whereabouts are completely unknown after she defriended him from social media.

All the while Nikos was breathing heavily to the point of hyperventilation.  “What you are going through is not a new phenomenon,” I observed. “You’ve been married for two decades now. Why all of this Christmas angst all of a sudden?”

Niko looked up and shot me a look of abject misery. “Because you know what’s happening. The Holy Father and the Patriarch are in talks about changing the date of Easter.”

“Holy Father? Whose Holy Father?” Stefo guffawed. “Άκου εκεί Holy Father. You are so far gone vre…”

“Can you see?” Niko asked plaintively. “Not only are we going to cop strain at Christmas but at Easter too. At least up until now, we got to celebrate Easter with the oldies because of the difference in calendar. If they make the dates the same, what are we going to do? We can forget about Greek Easter.”

“It’s Orthodox Easter, not Greek Easter, you heretic!” Stefo interjected. “And anyway, what do you care? You’ve never seen the inside of a Greek church, even before you got married. But that’s what happens doesn’t it? The Greeks in Australia have no idea about our traditions and then as soon as you marry a “xeni” suddenly everyone remembers that they have customs and a faith.”

“No, you aren’t getting it,” Niko moaned. “What about the γκρίνια? What about the souvla? What about the lucky coin?...”

“Will you punch him, or will I?” Stefo snarled, rolling up his sleeves.

“This affects all of us who are in “mixed marriages,” Niko continued. “These prelates, they go off and do their negotiations and make their press releases and take their fancy photos but they don’t think of the practical consequences of their actions. Effectively, these guys are placing marriages in peril at a time when mankind should be celebrating peace and tolerance. At the Carol Service at Saint Patrick’s last year…”

Seriously, δεν γλιτώνεις εσύ,” Stefo buried his face in his palms, in despair. «Τον πάπα να καταράσθε διότι αυτός είναι η αιτία του κακού». Saint Kosmas the Aetolian. He knew a thing or two. What I can’t understand is why our Patriarch wants to submit to the Catholics. I sense a plot by the Illuminati, the Bildebergers and the Freemasons. We already changed the date of Christmas to accommodate them and split off from the rest of the Orthodox και τι καλό είδαμε. My spiritual father….”

“My understanding is that the issue is a matter of calendar and not concelebration,” I ventured. “The idea is that the Catholics would adopt our date for Easter.”

“Which is precisely why this thing is so disastrous!” Nikos yelled, pounding his fist on the table. “Catastrophic! We shouldn’t celebrate together! We need to be separate! Forever! Otherwise we are stuffed! Last time, my mother said she was going to xegrapsei me from her will. This is awful.”

He remained silent for a while, his hand clutching at his unsweetened iced soy decaf caramel latte with no cream and extra syrup as if to crush it and relenting just at the last moment. Then, regaining his composure, he ventured:

“What we need to do is a petition. Of all Greeks in mixed marriages right across Australia. A petition to the Holy F… - I mean to the Pope and the Patriarch asking them not to create a common date for Easter. And while we are at it, to go back to the old date for Christmas. Believe me, this will preserve relationships, protect inheritances and save Christmas. Can you draft up something? Who do we send it to? Should we do it online or paper?’

“Don’t look at me,” Stefo pulled winced. “I’m off to Tahiti on the 20th and I won’t be back until after the New Year. Tell me Kalimniou, what do you plan to do for Christmas? Parents’ house or in-laws?”

I am going to do what I have always done: Wake up the kids in the early morning and rush to church for the Christmas liturgy. Rush back home so they can open the presents. Rush to my in-laws where I will reminisce about my late father-in-law who would always dominate the conversation with a lengthy discourse about how all Christians and indeed all humanity should put aside its differences and come together and I will think about how much I miss him. Delicately accept my mother-in-law’s constant exhortations to gorge myself on the finest Assyrian cuisine ever to grace a table in the West and finally, rush off to my parents for an unbridgeably vast Christmas lunch and stoically pretend that I haven’t already eaten.

Petition? Not for me thanks. I would not have it any other way.

 

DEAN KALIMNIOU

kalymnios@hotmail.com

First published in NKEE on Saturday 21 December 2024