GERSHOM AND THE COMPASSION OF THE PATRIARCH

 

When I was ushered into the room, I was transfixed by his gaze immediately. Two pairs of large, pitch black eyes, poring into the innermost recesses of my being. At least that is what I was told later. For, whenever faced with a situation that could prove daunting, I automatically resort to pilot mode, placing myself mentally at some distance from that particular circumstance, for preference, within the reign of Byzantine Emperor Nicephoros Phocas, recalling and listing the dates of his deeds. Yet this was no ordinary situation. No amount of Phocas could assist me in my own meeting of the Fokkers, for here I was about to meet my prospective father-in-law, for the first time. As he apprised me silently, I braced myself for the inevitable questions, formulating answers in anticipation: “What work do you do?” (Anything that redounds to the glory of the August Roman Emperor Nicephoros Phocas). “How would you support a wife?” (I suppose with a little pressure under the arm while crossing a busy street). The silence lay so thick and cloying upon the room that it could have been mistaken for baklava syrup. “Who invented baklava, the Greeks or the Assyrians?” (I refuse to answer on the grounds that I may incriminate myself).

When he did speak, the first words that came out of his mouth, delivered in precise, formal English, were these: “Did you know, I have actually met your Patriarch?” He signed, gestured for me to sit net to him and began to tell me the story of how he was forced to leave his homeland. Much of it I already knew from his daughter, but I discerned in his voice, the same timbre of pain that I had already to come to identify in the voices of my own people, who recalled their dislocation and final uprooting, their words perennially hovering above them unanchored, ceaselessly searching and finding no respite.

He recounted how he and his family abandoned their home “like thieves in the night,” leaving behind all their possessions and precious memories, lamenting especially the loss of photographic albums that serve as aides-mémoire. He kept me spellbound too as he regaled me with tales of hiding up in the barren Kurdish mountains, being led by Kurdish guides who would stop ever so often and threaten to abandon them there unless they handed over more of their money and it was only because of my father in law’s knowledge of the Kurdish language that he was able to shame them into upholding their end of the bargain. I was enthralled as described the desperate trek through wetlands covered in reeds, of endless walking in absolute silence, knowing that should they be apprehended, they would be shot on sight. On the crossing of the border into Turkey, of being provided with filthy blankets and foul and rancid food and water he did not dwell, but his voice quivered as it conveyed his fear and adject despondency, being completely unaware of the whereabouts of two of his sons who had made the escape prior to his own and his concerns about the future.

“You cannot imagine what it is to be an indigenous person, being treated as a second class citizen by the conquerors of your homeland,” my father in law grasped my arm. “The simmering resentment that you belong to your land and that it belongs to you but still you are considered illegitimate. That is how we Assyrians felt in Iraq. And when we got to Constantinople and saw everywhere the marks left on the city by your people, this feeling of resentment became worse even as we felt relief. Why relief, you ask? Simply because in the traces your people left behind, we realised that we are not alone, that others have suffered just as we have, that there is someone out there who understands us.”

My father in law’s family found lodgings in Therapeia, once an important centre of the Greek population of the City, now largely bereft of its Greek inhabitants. He described how they planned their movements carefully, rarely going out except to purchase necessities for if they were caught by the police they would be beaten, robbed, taken to the Iraqi border and sent over the other side where only death awaited those who left without permission during the time of Saddam. Once in a while, with whatever meagre savings were left to them, they would pay people-smugglers to attempt the crossing over into Greece and freedom. Each time, they would be apprehended and thrown back across the border.

Destitute and desperate, their only solace was attending a Greek church they managed to find after seeing the flames of some candles through a window in a room below street level in their neighbourhood. “This church was almost completely empty, except for two old ladies wearing black. I would go there, pray for my sons, pray for my family, pray that we would soon get out of that place.”

On one day, to his surprise, the normally empty church was filled with people. “I realised that they were local Greeks because they would speak Greek inside the church but as soon as they would emerge into the street, they would switch to Turkish. A bishop was conducting the service. Even though the church was full of people, I could see that he was looking at me and my family intently. When the service concluded and we lined up to obtain a blessing, he gestured towards us to come up to him. “Who are you?” I asked him in English and he answered, “I am the Patriarch.” He asked me where I was from and upon learning that I was an Assyrian refugee from Iraq, he asked me where I was living and if there was anything he could do for me. Most importantly (and here my father in law’s eyes began to grow glassy and he paused to wipe the tears from his eyes), he asked  me how I was feeling. I will never forget this moment. How I was feeling… What could I tell him? That I didn’t know where my boys were, that I had no idea what would happen to us, that our money had dwindled away to nothing and that I did not know how long we could afford to eat. I told him: “I feel like Gershom. I am a stranger in a strange land. I feel like a refugee who has lost everything,” and the Patriarch nodded in understanding and embraced me. He told me to continue to attend the church to come to him if I needed any help.” “I’ll be praying for you,” he told me, as we parted.”

My father in law looked into my eyes and grasped my hand. He wanted me to understand that the Ecumenical Patriarch’s words and the manner in which he showed he cared were like balsam to his soul, infusing him with the courage and confidence to hope and to fight, at a time when he was teetering on the brink of giving up. When I told him that I too had met the Patriarch and had been the recipient of his kindness, his face lit up and he embraced me excitedly. That was when I knew I was in.

 To his dying day, my father in law would speak of the Ecumenical Patriarch in loving terms, marvelling at his humility and his humanity and expressing his most ardent hope that he would play a decisive role in the reunification of all the churches.

The last conversation I had with my father in law took place in his bedroom as he was to sick to join us for lunch. “Do you speak to your Patriarch at all?” I informed him our communication was sporadic. “I doubt he will remember me,” he rasped. “But if you ever speak to him, tell him that an old stranger, in an even stranger land, across the other side of the world says thank you. Thank you, from the bottom of his heart.”

It was only a few days later that he left us and some time after that, that I discovered, among his personal effects, an old dried flower and net to it a small, pocket sized photograph of the Ecumenical Patriarch, inscribed with the date of their meeting. I have treasured it ever since.

DEAN KALIMNIOU

kalymnios@hotmail.com

First published in NKEE on Saturday 12 October 2024